I Cross My Heart....

Changing myself

2010-04-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

so family and friends I have decided to change myself not just on the inside but outside as well. Since high school I have gained a lot of weight and I have decided to lose it all so I will be posting daily how my work outs are going and on saturdays (end of the week) I will post a picture and my weight lose. Thank you all for supporting me in all that I have done!

at the being of week one I weighed in at 203 lbs and this is my pictures I took a front view and a side view

Santa's Respones

2009-11-25T20:28:00.001-08:00

Dear Gwyn,

I am sorry to inform you that due to national security and the fact thatI work for the government I am unable to access the website youprovided. Here at the North Pole there are limited websites that can beaccessed to ensure that all the elves and other workers keep on the taskat hand, and not surfing the web. Sorry for any inconvenience this maycause. Continue being good, and don't forget the occasionally beingnaughty will help your cause as well.

//SIGNED//
Santa Clause, GS-07, DAF
Fire Protection Engineer

Santa's Respones

2009-11-25T20:28:00.000-08:00

My Letter to Santa

2009-11-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I have been really good this year and have worked hard to be a bettermom, wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Niece and person in general. I havemade hug sacrifices and really think I deserve the one and only giftthat i want. here is the website for a killer deal on the gift i want.please santa i really want this and think i have earned it. thank you so much,

http://cgi.ebay.com/Canon-EOS-Rebel-XSi-450D-Digital-Camera-Body-5-Lens-NEW_W0QQitemZ390120277406QQcmdZViewItemQQptZDigital_Cameras?hash=item5ad4fb059e

Love Gwyn Thiele

You might be a redneck...

2009-06-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

I think this shows everyone how much of a recdneck my family is ... here is Thomas riding his brand new mode of transportation...

What really suprises me is the fact he is smiling! he really loves this lawn mower

The only thing he is missing to be a true redneck is a beer in his hands

I think we need to talk and email from my husband

2009-06-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have been upset because my car has broken down and it has been raining for a week now so I have been really down and out. Thomas had to work on his birthday and when he called I was crying so this is the email I recieved from him I have to admit it made me laugh my butt off...

"I think we need to talk. You have been “bragging” about you being a redneck to anyone and everyone that would listen to you for some time now. I have told you in the past that this is not cool. Now I must say it again, as it is directly affecting you family. Due to your constant bragging we now have 3 inoperable vehicles, much like real rednecks, and with two of them in the yard. The only thing that is missing is that they are not up on blocks. You take this and add it to the fact that our lawnmower(s) seem to be cattle, well you can see the image it portrays. What is next, TJ marrying either Karen or Sierra. I would have to draw the line at this. Hell, look at Sierra’s smile, if that doesn’t scream redneck what does??

Anyway, hope your day is going well. I may stop home around 1230, I need to get my golf stuff. They need me to golf this afternoon for the squadron. I will talk to you later. Love and miss you, wish I was home. Thought I would send you this in hopes of brightening your day, even if it is raining out, and has been for like a year."

Thomas At Work

2009-06-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

Ok so after the air show I realized why I love him so much... It isn't because of charm... or his great presonality... no it is because I LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM... and boy does he look good in his Uniform ...:)

Black hills photo shoot

2009-05-07T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sierra sitting still or at least trying
TJ looking cool

I love this picture of Karen!

Jerri's mother's day gift!

2009-05-07T09:27:00.000-07:00

Once again I set out to be creative and make Jerri (Thomas's mom) a great mother's day gift. So I took the kids to the back hills and took some photo's of them then picked my favorite and made them into 5x7's and made shadow boxes for each picture. here are the finish products. I hope she likes them.

the new house so far

2009-04-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

Finding Old Friends

2009-04-14T17:42:00.000-07:00

It is amazing in today's world how people you went to school with and thought you would never see when school was over find you.

This happened to not only my self but to Thomas as well. See I had some really outstanding friends in High School even though my closest friend was my sister I still have plenty of friend that I thought I would keep in touch with but life and time tore us apart. Thanks to the internet I have rekindled that friendship. Don't get me wrong I love my life with my husband and Children (although sometimes I can do without the kids! lol). However I miss the friends I had and who knew me better than I knew my self at times. But like all good things they must come to an end. so that chapter of my life is closed and I started new chapters in my book. Yet I love to reconnect with old friends and remember all the times we have had.

Thomas had a friend track me down and it was his best friend from high school. Listening to some of the stories they talk about makes me laugh. I so would not have dated Thomas in high school but then like I said you grow up.

Thanks to the internet for allowing us to reconnect with old friends!

Fireman's Wife

2009-04-12T16:37:00.000-07:00

The table is set, the meal's prepared,our guests will soon arrive.

My husband once more disappears

with a hope of keeping a child alive.

While waiting at home again alone,our plans having gone awry.

My first impulse is merely to sit down and cry.

But soon again I realize the importance of my life

when I agreed to take on the duties of being a fireman's wife.

While there are many drawbacks,

I'll take them in my stride

The gusting winds and raging flamesmay be his final fate,

But with God's help I can remainmy fireman's faithful mate.

To Cheyenne I wonder who you'd be today!

2009-04-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

I feel you everywhere I go.

I see your smile, I see your face,I hear you laughin' in the rain.

I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,Like the story that had just begun,But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you,All the hell that I've been through,Just knowin' no-one could take your place.

An' sometimes I wonder,Who'd you be today?Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?Settle down with a family,I wonder what would you name your babies?

some days the sky's so blue,I feel like I can talk to you, An' I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,Like the story that had just begun,But death tore the pages all away.

God knows how I miss you,All the hell that I've been through,Just knowin' no-one could take your place.

An' sometimes I wonder,Who you'd be today?

Today, today, today.

[Instrumental Break]

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.

I wear the pain like a heavy coat.

The only thing that gives me hope,Is I know I'll see you again some day.

Some day, some day, some day.

A tribute to Karen my Daughter

2009-04-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

A family begins when a man and a woman fall in love and get married. Not mine, mine started with the blessing of a little girl who captured my heart from the start. She said no words just came at the time I needed her. I had no clue how much a mother's love could be until I became one.

She made me who I am and made me work harder than ever to be the best I could be. I knew I didn't need a husband to help me out but I did want a father for her. Being in the military it was hard to leave her but I had to. My heart broke and I cried all the was to Saudi Arabia. I knew I left her in goods hands because I left her with the one person I could trust my older sister.

When I got back I met someone, I wasn't trying to but I did and I wasn't ready for him to do what he did. But he loved her as though she was his own and it wasn't clear to me until the day he taught her to call him Daddy.

she is ever growing from the little girl who would say "I love you, I know".

To the fine young lady that she is today. She always thinks of others before herself and she enjoys being with her family.

Her ever thrust for knowledge really drives to try and be better. she is growing up and I am so afraid she will be like me as a teenager and not want anything to do with me. I guess ever teenage girl will go through that.

The bond between us started way before this life and was stronger than ever by the time she got here. It will way after we both leave this earth!

I love you Karen!

Updated pics of Hunter

2009-04-04T13:06:00.000-07:00

so cute when he sleeps

all smiles

Big Boy

A boy after his grandma's heart

2009-04-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

drifts behind our house

drifts by our arena

Snow drift on side of house facing north

Snow drift out my front door

2009-03-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

As I promised here is the picture of Thomas in is Dress Fire Uniform.

I kept telling him he looks good all dressed up but he doesn't believe me.

and just to let you know under all of the suites and ties he still has

a muscle shirt and shorts on!

Who Am I

2009-02-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been searching and Pondering about who I am and who I want to be! As most of you know I have a son who needs as much attention as one can give but with a husband who works 24 on 24 off and has hobbies that take him away from family I am left to be a single mom again. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and my kids but sometimes I can't do it all alone.

Well as I have been pondering this little question of who I am, I have came up emty handed. I know I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend but I have failed at each one of them at some point in my life.

I am not a good mother because if I was then My son wouldn't have as much problems as he does. he would be able to read well and write great. He would be so angry with life or with me. He wouldn't be starting fires and crying for attention. My oldest daughter would be doing better in school and not lying as much as she does. My youngest well she would not be following behind her brother's steps she would know that it is wrong to light fires. My baby Cheyenne might still be alive if I was a good mother. So I have failed as a mother.

If I was a good wife I wouldn't be so crabby with my husband I would be able to give him my total undivided attention. I wouldn't be so upset that he is hardly ever home because he needs an outlet to life as well. I wouldn't complain that I have no outlet because as a wife it is MY JOB TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING. I would have been able to have our baby home a ready for him to love when he came back from deployment if I was a good wife. therefore I have failed as a wife.

If was a good sister I would keep in touch with my siblings and not judge them or get mad at them. I would listen to what they had to say and give my advice. I would be close with all my siblings but I am not because I have failed.

If I was a good daughter then I would call my father more and be more loving and understanding as to why my in laws hate me so much. I would also stand up for my self when I was treated wrongly. I would take everything my father had taught me to be a strong willed girl and know when it is my time to take a stand for myself. but i haven't therefore I have failed as a daughter.

If I was a good friend My best friend would know how much I love her and how greatful I am to have such a great friend there when I need her so.

So then my question is who am I if I am non of these? I guess only time will tell

Civilian of the Year for Ellsworth AFB goes to ....

2009-01-30T13:38:00.000-08:00

Civilian Category II goes to the 28th Civil Enginer Squadron
Chief Leans to Thomas and Says "that is you"
Frantic wife searches the program to see who is from the 28th CE Squadron
only to realize that it is her Husband.
Thomas's Reacation "Shit"
Gwyn's reaction "yea that is you Thomas" with tears streaming down her face.

A perfect ending to a crapy day! The day started out with a me getting into a car accident
and ended with Thomas winning Civilian of the year for Category II.
when I get the photo to down load I will post it of Thomas and I all dressed up.

And the WINNER IS ....

2009-01-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow night Thomas and I will be going to an Award Ceremony for Ellsworth Air Force Base.

Why some of you might ask?

Because Thomas won Civilian of the Year for the Mission Support Group!

what does that mean most of you are asking?

Well that means he basically is the employee of the year for Mission Support Group.

If he wins for the base we will be flying out

to another base for him to compete Air Force Wide!

This is something he has worked hard to achive

although he didn't know it so please wish him luck and secretly cheer him on.

Ten Years

2009-01-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

On January 15th Thomas and I celebrated ten years with each other! I couldn't believe that ten years ago we were married. We spent the day together just the two of us no kids because they were in school. We went to dinner in Deadwood and just spent time getting to know each other all over again. The best part of the night was as we were driving to Deadwood George Strait "I Cross my Heart" came on, for those of you who didn't know that song is the song Thomas and I had play at our reception that is His and my song. So I thought I would post it for him.

Our love is unconditional

We knew it from the start

I can see it in your eyes

You can feel it from my heart

>from here on after

Lets stay the way we are right now

And share all the love and laughter

That a lifetime will allow

Chorus:I cross my heart

And promise to

Give all Ive got to giveTo make all your dreams come true

In all the world

Youll never find

A love as true as mine

You will always be the miracle

That makes my life complete

And as long as theres still breath in me

Ill make yours just as sweet

As we look into the future

Its as far as we can see

So lets make each tomorrow

Be the best that it can be

Chorus

And if along the way we find a day

It starts to storm

Youve got the promise of my love

To keep you warm

A conversation with a new Young Woman

2009-01-12T14:34:00.000-08:00

My oldest daughter has finally made it into Young Women’s, the other night she asked me what one woman has made an impact on my life. I told her “it is hard to pick just one woman who has made an impact on my life. There have been several women who have impacted me in different ways.” My mom was a big one. She never let anything get her down and she held on to the church with more heart and spirit then anyone I have ever met. She helped me develop my faith in the lord and his son. As mom she also taught me about Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, and Integrity.

My sister's have all impacted me whether they were my sister in laws or the ones that I was given.

Cyndy taught me how to be strong and go for my dreams, she helped see my individual worth I watched her as I grew up in my high school years and wished I had the courage to be what I wanted and to say what was on my mind just like her. She knew who I was before I even knew. Now whether or not she knew that I will never know but she is the reason why I am strong now.

Terri has shown me what qualities I have that make me special. She has always pointed out that I have been blessed with being able to speak my mind and holding our family together while Thomas is at work or hunting. She keeps reminding me that I have been strong in dealing with the loss of my baby girl and helping me see my Divine Nature.

Bonnie who has had a rough life with the choices she made as a young girl has helped me see that we are free to make our own choices but we must remember to be accountable for them, thus showing me the importance of Choice and Accountability.

Jackie served a mission and while on her mission our grandma had passed away, she stayed on her mission going through the pain of our family's loss by herself because it was what grandma wanted. By doing so her knowledge of the savior and our church has grown causing her testimony to grow and become strong. If I ever need a scripture or a quote I always call her because of her vast knowledge.

Aunt Carol has also taught me about faith and love. I know it isn’t easy to love Uncle Mikey because I have loved him for 33 years but her faith and her love helps me in dealing with Thomas knowing that if she can love Mike and have faith in him and their marriage then I can love Thomas and have faith in our marriage.

“I admire you and Sierra as well.” I told her. She looked a little shocked and said “what do you admire about us?”

I admire Karen’s constant service that she gives to others. Although I don’t see it at home I see it with those she comes in contact with… That could be why I named her after mom. She reminds me that Good Works is important in our lives.

Sierra is never afraid to show people what is right and she is never afraid to do the right thing whether it is telling the truth or returning something that is not hers. I try every day to have the Integrity that she has.

Without all of you I would not be who I am today. Thank you for making me someone worthwhile! I love you all even though I don't say it or show it much. I know I have said and did things to each of you that I am not proud of and I am truly sorry for it. I have wanted nothing more but to move on and make it right I have grown and learned from all of my sister’s and for that I am thankful for all of you and the qualities you all share.

The Kids

2008-12-25T18:33:00.000-08:00

Freezing Cold

2008-12-17T13:30:00.000-08:00

Ok for my sister's sake I decided to rename this Freezing Cold because I love her that much!

Ok everyone this is what Freezing Balls Cold looks like. Just so all of you know it has been -30 here in Rapid City, SD. It was so cold on Monday that they had to start school two hours late. These pics are from the inside of my bedroom looking out of the window.

Notice the kids have their hands and foot prints on my window. They were trying to melt the 1/2 inch of Ice that was on my window.

2008-12-12T07:17:00.000-08:00

now that the semester is coming to an end and I have been working on my final projects here are somethings I took away this semester from photo shop. for those of you who are just dieing to buy me a Christmas present that is what I want Photo Shop. I absolutely love it and have a blast with it.

Karen and Sierra being crazy

Sierra sitting pretty

The Kids being cute

TJ's Birthday!

2008-12-10T08:41:00.000-08:00

Ok so you all know that on December 8th was TJ's Birthday. Trust me if I had your phone number programed into the phone then you probably recieved phone calls from him for the last week reminding you it is his birthday.

His birthday began with Daddy calling him at 0630, he wasn't even awake when he said to me "are you forgetting to tell me something?" I laughed and said "Happy Birthday"

He went to school where he told everyone he was nine today, Mrs. Rude his teacher said "Happy Birthday and gave him a Happy birthday certificate.

I went to cabela's to buy his birthday present and they put me to work so I got off work at 5pm bought his present and went to pick the kids up and met Thomas at Golden Corral then home we went for opening presents. He recieved a toy car from grandma and grandpa Thiele. Karen and Sierra gave him clothes and Dad (Thomas) gave him a wallet inside the wallet was a $25 gift card from Cabela's and Mom.

Last night I called dad and he told me that TJ called him asking him if he had something to say to him. Dad of course joked with him about it then wished him a happy birthday it is so wierd that he is now 9!

Changing pace

2008-12-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to up date everyone, Due to the new attendance policy at my school and due to medical problems I am changing from an on campus school to an online school.

as most of you know TJ has ADHD with Conduct disorder, what does that mean (that mom's curse she gave of YOU WILL HAVE TEN KIDS JUST AS BAD AS YOU, came true expect that I have one kid ten times as worse as me), no really all it means is not only do i have to remind him on everything he has to do constantly but he has anger out burst all the time! He is trying to be baptized on the 27 Dec 2008, I told him I wouldn't allow him to unless he started to respect me I might be wrong for doing that but I feel this is what he needs. Also Because of Thomas's job I am the one who if he gets in trouble or I have to meet with the principal then I am the one who has to move things around in my life and be available and because of the attendance policy at the school I get my grade dropped one full grade for missing class.

So I feel that the best place for me is online school so I can be there for my children

Sierra's Big Day!

2008-11-27T11:57:00.000-08:00

Every so often Sierra's Birthday happens to fall on Thanksgiving. This year happen to be the year we make a hug dinner and have CAKE for thanksgiving!

Although I have yet to have a great holiday season because this is the time I reflect on my mom and how this was the time of year she loved the most. I debated to make a mince meat pie this year but figured no one would eat it because it was mom's favorite.

Today is different Today I have been reflecting on my little girl and how the only reason why I had her on the 27 of November was because Thomas HAD TO GO TO IDAHO TO KILL SOME STINKING PHEASANTS and I went into labor. He waited until he had his limit to take me to the hospital so 12 hours later I was in labor and delivery with a nurse who was trying to stop my baby from coming.

They sent me home that night to rest, I had to go in and see the doctor the next day which happen to be November 27, 2001. The doctor check me and said "you need to go to the hospital now you are having the baby today.

Keep in mind we had no clue whether I was having a girl or a boy I thought a girl and well Thomas wanted a boy. I remember Jacki and Terri coming up to get the kids for me and then the fun really began.

I was going to be a tough woman and show my husband I was not a sissy. I chose to not have an epideral but rather just normal pain meds. I went right up to the last minute (man was I strong) and then Thomas started to talk crap because I wasn't strong enough. when I yelled at him he said "this is not the time to be a bitch." I thought the nurse who was in the room was going to smack him herself.

but the most I remember about today is when my little girl was finally born and how the doctor said "It looks like a boy forehead oh wait congratulations it is a GIRL!"

As she said that I looked up at Thomas's face he went from a grin to a frown and said "Can you put it back until it is done?"

We had her name picked out even before she was born because we felt if god would allow us to have another girl it was because Cheyenne told him to. So Sierra Cheyenne Thiele is named in honor of her big sister who I know when she left the pre-existance gave her a kiss and told her she loved her and would see her again.

I feel that Sierra is not just a gift from God But from my little baby girl who wouldn't be so little any more, She is a gift from Cheyenne to all of us! Just as TJ is a gift from his big sister to me and Thomas.

So Happy Birthday Sierra We all LOVE YOU! Enjoy your Big Birthday/Thanksgiving Dinner

Nonna's trip to see baby

2008-11-21T08:51:00.000-08:00

Here are some updated pics of when I went to see the kids in October!

Hunter as a Pumpkin

Hunter in his Ghost towel

Hunter sitting in Nonna's Lap

Two dead deer and six pheasants and bronchitis

2008-11-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

So we went out yesterday to do a little hunting!

Pheasants were everywhere deer too, hiked into this field and shoot at a little doe (cuz that is what tags I had) I hit the poor little thing in the foot and tried to track it forever before we realized that it was not going to die.

as we were walking back Thomas had seen four does and we walked over to the where they were coming up the hill and I knelt down right over the hill came four does! I aimed at the biggest one and shoot her right through her spine! she Dropped like a bag of potatoes! it was unbeliveable and the best part was it was with a gun twice my size!

Some how I managed to get bronchitis while hunting and now my chest is killing and i feel like crap but I still walked the fields for pheasants and to get my deer.

will have pictures as soon as they are developed

Fall is in the air and you know what that means

2008-10-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year, the leaves are turning colors the weather is getting colder and that means it is time to go and kill some birds!

I have a new 20 gauge shotgun and it needs to be used soon, Thomas and the guys have already killed plenty of them and now it is my turn!

I can't wait to go out and walk some fields and now I have an excuse to buy all my under armor so I can stay warm.!

Just Call us GRANDMA AND GRANDPA

2008-09-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

Cassie had her baby on September 20, 2008, he was 7 lbs 10.9 oz and he was 21 inches long. She compromised with her dad and named him Hunter Terrence Instead of Field Hunter. Sometimes I wonder where in the heck Thomas comes up with his names for kids! I suppose though with a name like Hunter and a Grandpa who loves to hunt he is destine to be a hunter!

here are a few pictures of him and family.

Here is Hunter just a day old

The picture above is Hunter 30 minutes old

Hunter with Cassie (mom), Uncle Andrew, and Grandma Michelle

Hunter, Mom, and Grandma Michelle

Hunter and Uncle Andrew!

We Are Going to Be GrandParents today! Hopefully

2008-09-20T14:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was told I had to update my blog! As if I don't have enough stuff on my plate! so here I go.

Cassie went in today to have her baby so far so good she is ready to have him. All of this took place around noon when I received the last update. she was dialated to a 2 and 100% efaced. Am I ready to be a grandma? no I haven't even raised my own kids! but I suppose if I must I must! I Thomas is excited, In fact he is so excited that he is out GOOSE HUNTING right now.

So why is that not a suprise for most of you could it be because he had taken me out pheasant hunting when we had Sierra! well the little man will have to live up to his name considering she is naming him Hunter!

What a great birthday present for Grandpa Great Stevens! I will keep everyone posted

Kenny Chesney

2008-08-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

Every year the Sturgis Rally takes place at the beginning of August and goes that whole week. ok so I can't stand all the bikes that turn out for the Rally because they have no clue as to drive with other motorist on the road. Yet I still look forward to the Rally not just because we as a shift get together and hang out at one concert and the tickets are really cheap but because it is the one time of the year my husband and I go out together.

At the Rally you have the Buffalo Chip and Glenco Camp ground are the two main places that these outstanding concerts take place. Last year we had a great time at one of my favorite country artist since he first came on to the country sence. TOBY KEITH, the concert was great and watching all the drunk idiots was even fun! The best part of the whole night was the fact I was the only NOT drinking! yea I know how can I go to Sturgis and not drink ... well someone needed to drive people home and arrive home Alive. It was also funny to see my husband almost get into fight after fight after fight. No body really backed down from him but do you blame them?

This year I opted again not drink and I again drove people home again. The big concert we went to this was Kenny Chesney although I was kind of hoping he would play what Thomas calls Cheyenne's song, the real name of the song is who you'd be today. He didn't sing the song but put on one heck of a concert. Thomas again got really drunk and didn't feel a girl up this time but he did almost try to fight people.

We had a really great time together. I love being married to him and doing awsome things with him like this one. He keeps me on my toes as well as the other fire fighters, I think I have earned the fire mom for A shift! lol

Either way I have wonderful friends who took my kids so I could enjoy this wonderful night and friends who helped share in this great night!

Update

2008-07-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment with a surgon and a mamogram. Good news is that the mamogram came back negitive, my blood work came back negitive and the bad news is they still have no clue what is causing the pain in my right breast.

they scheduled a duckogram for me today but they could not get any discharge out so they could not do the duckogram. The doctor who was doing the duckogram thinks that maybe I had a small cyst that burst.

Who knows, all I know is that I am in pain and no one can tell me why it hurts so much.

Weekly Checks saves lives

2008-07-28T16:58:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of weeks I have had a sore right breast I really didn't think much of until I notice that my nipple was turning red and was slightly deformed so I called my sister in law and asked her if it was normal for my breast to still grow ( cuz when I talk to Thomas about what was going on his reaction was "cool now I don't have to buy you a boob job!).

Carol told me no that it could be an infection in the milk duct but after reminding her that I have had a playground put in and the baby factor taken out she then told me to make an appointment to have it looked at.

I made the appoint today and the doctor made me a mamogram appointment for tomorrow, I left for school and as I was in class my right breast started to hurt and I looked down at my shirt and noticed a wet spot on my shirt as if I was lactating! I was so freaking embarassed that I got up and walked into the bathroom. As I went into the stall I looked at my breast and everytime I would touch it, I felt a sharp shooting pain.

I went a finished out my class came home and Called the Doctor who then told me to go to the ER because my breast should not be hurting this bad and she wasn't sure why, she was also very busy.

after three hours in the ER the doctor gave me a couple of prescriptions one for an antibotic and the other for pain. I have an appointment tomorrow for a mamogram and one with a surgon.

I caught the problem fast because once a week I perform a weekly mamogram on myself. I cannot stress enough how important it is to do check your self. you shouldn't feel embrassed or ashamed because you are your first defense line into breast cancer and breast awareness.

I will keep you all updated when I find out some more information.

Economics Suck Butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

Ok so I thought I would be a smart little cookie and decided to take summer classes so I wouldn't lose my smartness over the summer! so my choice of classes to take were not the easiest ones rather I took Compostition and ECONOMICS!

Stupid choice I have come to realize how much I hate Economics and stupid I am when it comes to the Economy. I have litterly sat in class and read the freakin book and have no clue I am lost. some how I am maintaining a C in the stupid class but don't ask anything about the freakin class because I will scream.

I had an arguement with a girl in the class about liberals and conservitives I do understand that protion of Economics I also Understand that we need to spend money to make the economy work but I don't get anything else!

I have come to the conclusion I am stupid when it comes to economics and I will never be an economist! sure I will have to take Microeconomics for my Bacholar degree but I will cry when that day comes!

HELP

2008-07-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

So most of you all know that I have a child who is a handful. well I am now calling for any kind of help I can get him. we have tried the medication and the thearpy but nothing is working.

I know kids say things that they don't mean but this little eight year old has said things that have cut me to the bone. He doesn't listen to me no matter if I ask nicely or yell, there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't tell me he hates me and that he doesn't love. he is always telling me that I abuse him and that I am a bad mom.

I know he is only eight but he has tried running away and on Sunday he dropped some broccoli and all I did was ask him to pick up his mess well that didn't happen instead he yelled at me and told me he is not picking up his mess that is my job because I am not working so I can pick up after him. I told him it was his mess and he needs to pick it up. after arguing with him for at least ten minutes he picked it up then dropped to the ground and started to cry I asked him to please put the broccoli in the garbage and he told me no then mushed it up in his hands. my first thought when he did that was spank him, but I didn't I told him he had to the count of five to get it to the garbage and he kept up with the attitude so I grabbed Thomas's belt and told him if he didn't go throw it away i would spank him!

He never did throw it away instead he threw a fit and I left for a mommy time out. when I did the girls told him thanks you made mom leave we are so tired of the way you treat her. he came running out to the car and asked if i would take him to his friends to pick up the Xbox controllers. on our way back from his friends i was going to go and get me a pepsi and despite me telling him that he was sure we were going to the fire house so as I am driving down my street he opened my door and I started to slow the car down and told him to shut the door. He yelled no and as I was going about three miles per hour he jumped out of the car and ran to the house. when i returned home he had packed his bags and was gone to his friends. the girls had their bags packed and told me that they didn't want to live with TJ any more.

I need help I have no clue what to do with him. when we have mommy and TJ time he gets mad if I don't buy him everything he wants. When we are in the stores and I don't buy him something he starts to yell out that I abuse him and I am a mean mom! Is this normal for an eight year old who will be nine in December to act like this?

The count down

2008-07-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

Now most people think of a baby or a wedding when they hear the count down begins.
Not at the Thiele house, when we say Count Down we mean none other than
PHEASANT HUNT,
DEER HUNT,
GOOSE HUNT,
and who could forget
DUCK HUNT.
So let the count down begin
I just got a new 20 gauge semi automatic
and I love it and want to use it now!

Renewing Love

2008-07-06T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well it is going to be ten years next year that Thomas and I have been married and with everything we have survived we have decided to renew our vows (plus I get a bigger ring! lol).

We have decided just our close friends and the kids will be there to wittness it. besides who really wants to come to South Dakota in the middle of winter!

Life

2008-07-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking and yes I do that sometimes. Life for me hasn't been the easiest I left mommy and daddy's house some years ago. I joined the military at 18 and was quickly introduced to life on my own.

I have had my heart broken a couple of times (ok more then a couple), I have cried myself to sleep over men (still do that) and seen things most small town girls don't get a chance to see.

I have lost my mom and had a baby all in the same year with no one there to help me through it.
I have been a single mom for two years and it was tough not having a man there to share your burdens with. I have left my young child of not even a year with family while I served over in the sand box. I have had friends come in to my life and then leave because of the military and never seen them again.

I have meet the man I choose to spend the rest of my life with and within the first two months let him down, for the child I was suppose to keep safe until he came home died while he was deployed. I went on to having two other children with my husband and as a mother have often times questioned my ability to raise my children.

I have had rough times with my siblings only to have said hurtful things because of my feeling of worthlessness. I have been depressed, scared, lost, unsure and even ungrateful for the life I have been given.

At thirty two I have went back to school to better myself and to strees how important an education is.

I have been a step mom to a child I just was able to meet, and now I am going to be a grandma at thrity three.

With all the "I have Beens" in my life I still am depressed, unsure, scared, lost and I still have low self esteem. Just like most girls I still wonder if I am loved by Family and Friends.

I have learned that with all the uncertainities of life you need to know who you are and know that there are only two things you can be certain of and that is life and death.

Take what life throws at you and laugh because life is short. Let those you are close and dear to you know that you love them because who knows tomorrow might be your last.

Grandparents

2008-06-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so we were told in January that we were going to be Grandparents! no it isn't Karen (thank god) but Cassie! after the shock of being a grandma at 32 years old I began to warm up to the idea considering I can't have any more kids! yet I know how hard it is going to be for her to raise this child with no college education, but knowing how much she needs love and caring we are willing to support her all the way. Although I am not happy that she is only 17, I do know that God gives us trials and heart ache for a reason and what pulls us down only makes a stronger.

The Kids

2008-03-04T09:51:00.000-08:00

Karen is in the 5th grade now and is excited to go to middle school next year. She is in Volleyball and choir. she loves to read and write short stories just like her mom.

TJ is TJ always full of life he is in the 2nd grade and is enjoying the life of a little boy stuck between two girls! he enjoyed his time this winter hunting with his dad and the boys from the fire department.

Sierra is finally in school and she has been mom's little social butterfly but she is doing really well as she progress through the year. she has grown a love for learning. Yet she is still got daddy wrapped around her little finger.

Thomas

2008-03-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

Just wanted everyone to know that Last year Thomas was awarded the fire fighter of the year for Ellsworth Air Force Base and he placed second in ACC for civilian fire fighter. we are so proud of our daddy and Husband.

He also did some of his best hunting this year killing over 73 pheasants, two deer, and almost over 183 Geese. Just when Gwyn thought the hunting season was done he threw in snow goose season, will this season ever end?